User Manual
Bugs & Limitations:
MindGuard has the following limitations:

  • An effective range of only 20 feet. If you venture out of this range, please construct and use a Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie.

  • Has no effect on VLF & ELF pain-inducing weapons due to their high power. Nor is it effective against Pulse Burst Microwave weapons. MindGuard is only meant to be used against psychotronic encrypted transmissions, not the transmitting vehicle.

MindGuard has the following bugs:

  • A bizarre interaction between a CIA transmission and the random number generator caused an encrypted ideoglyph meaning "Kowtow to the New World Order and all her minions" to be transformed into a synaesthetic empagram that has left me deathly afraid of the color mauve. This may or may not happen again.